Get ready to laugh your badge off! These police puns and jokes are loaded with humor—from cute quips to cheeky one-liners.
Whether you’re into donut jokes or patrol punchlines, there’s something here for every comedy cop. So buckle up, hit the siren, and let the pun pursuit begin.
Just one warning: these jokes are criminally funny!
Contents
Cute Police Puns and Jokes
These puns are as sweet as a cop sharing their last donut. Expect wholesome humor that’ll melt hearts faster than sirens clear traffic.
– I told the officer my heart was stolen—he put out an APB on you.
– You must be under arrest, because you’ve captured my heart.
– Our love is so strong, even a polygraph test couldn’t deny it.
– That cop is so adorable, he should be assigned to the Cuddles Unit.
– I donut know how to thank the officer who gave me a ticket—and a smile.
– You make my heart race like a high-speed pursuit.
– He gave me a warning, not a ticket—talk about serve and protect my feelings.
– She’s not just a cop—she’s a patrol model.
– I must be guilty of something, because I’ve been caught staring.
– Our bond is stronger than handcuffs.
– You’re the chief of my heart, and I’ll never appeal.
– Caught red-handed… in a bouquet of roses and love letters.
– I knew it was true love when she said, “You have the right to remain mine.”
– Officer Fluffy reports for hug duty!
– I’m not resisting arrest, I’m just resisting your charm.
– He’s on patrol—and on my mind.
– I told my crush they make my heart go woop woop.
– You’re my favorite type of backup.
– Forget Miranda rights—I want marriage rights.
– Even my mom said, “He looks like a keeper… of the peace.”
– Wanted: One cop to hold my hand forever.
– I was pulled over for looking too adorable. Guilty.
– She cuffed me—with affection.
– The only code I’m breaking is Code: Smitten.
– Dispatch, I need a cuddle unit, stat.
– He walks a beat—and into my heart.
– Is that a citation in your hand or just butterflies in mine?
– I fell in love and now I’m a repeat offender.
– That cop isn’t just cute—he’s a-justice-able.
– This badge has more sparkle than a promise ring.
– Someone call the K-9 unit—because I’m paws-itively obsessed.
– I don’t need a partner—I’ve got Officer Perfect.
– Patrol car more like love buggy.
– Suspect in custody: Too cute to let go.
– I asked for protection. The officer gave me his number.
– He stole my heart… and filed it under Evidence Aww.
– You’re my siren song.
– Love at first write-up.
– No parole—I want life with you.
– Ticket for what? Criminal cuteness?
– She didn’t need backup. She needed a bouquet.
– The puns are strong in this precinct.
– Cuffed and crushing.
– She wasn’t just undercover—she was under my skin.
– He’s always armed—with charm.
– I’d do hard time just to hold your hand.
– If loving you is a crime, I’ll take the plea deal.
– You had me at “Step out of the vehicle.”
– He read me my rights—then read me a poem.
– Donut mess with my heart, officer.
– You’re my favorite law enforcement… of attraction.
Clever Police Puns and Jokes
Ready for some witty wordplay that would impress even a seasoned detective? These puns are armed with brains and a badge.
– I joined the K-9 unit, but turns out I’m just barking up the wrong precinct.
– I never lie… unless it’s a sting operation.
– Police reports are like onions—layered and make you cry.
– He didn’t break the law—he just bent it into a pun.
– Cops don’t multitask. They interrogate and dominate.
– They caught me red-handed—at the evidence bake sale.
– The siren song? More like the siren pun.
– If you want to pass the polygraph, don’t tell pun-dercover jokes.
– Suspect escaped after being charged with pun-ishment.
– I got away because I took the punsuit route.
– That officer gave me a citation… for grammar violations.
– It was an arrest development.
– Interrogation went sideways once someone said, “Let’s taco ‘bout it.”
– He carries pepper spray and hot takes.
– He used a pun as a defense—it was a witty plea bargain.
– Caught jaywalking while reading police puns.
– You think you’re above the law? I’m just a-pun it.
– She knew every code except the one to his heart.
– The undercover cop blew his cover with a dad joke.
– You’re about as stealthy as a siren on full blast.
– Cop-ied that.
– They took me in for being too sharp—a real wit-ness.
– I got locked up… in a pun cellar.
– “You crack me up,” said the FBI agent investigating the safe.
– Even his walkie-talkie has a sense of humor.
– This isn’t a traffic stop—it’s a wit checkpoint.
– Officer? I plead the pifth.
– Armed with puns and ready to roll.
– Don’t tase me, bro—I’m just being pun-ctual.
– His badge number? 911-jokes.
– Warning: Suspect may be armed with sarcasm.
– She’s not a snitch—she’s a giggle informant.
– Justice is blind, but this pun is clearly guilty.
– Cuff puns? That’s a restraining joke.
– They say crime doesn’t pay—but puns get arrested development deals.
– Her jokes should be illegal in 42 states.
– I filed a complaint. It was about bad pun conduct.
– Legal department says we’re out of order—again.
– He took the fall. For the punchline.
– “Freeze!” she said—then told a pun about popsicles.
– Suspect vanished after shouting, “I know my pun rights!”
– That cop wasn’t rogue—just punfiltered.
– I was held in contempt… for punning the jury.
– That precinct has a joke quota—and we’re over limit.
– Caught in a pun sting. Again.
– If sarcasm were a felony, we’d all be lifers.
– She put the cuffs on—then handed me a zinger.
– Officer, I’m guilty—of armed humor.
– Let’s settle this in pun court.
Funny Police Puns and Jokes
Silly, snappy, and totally badge-worthy—these police jokes will patrol your funny bone all day long.
– Why did the cop bring a ladder? To reach new heights in law enforcement.
– I got pulled over and told the officer, “Don’t worry, I’m just out for a pun-run.”
– The detective opened a bakery—everything’s under proof.
– I was arrested for stealing a calendar… I got twelve months.
– I asked the officer if I could make a joke. He said, “You have the right to remain punny.”
– What do you call a dishonest policeman? A fib-eroptics unit.
– I asked a cop what he does for fun. He said, “I’m a fan of stakeouts and dad jokes.”
– What did the policeman say to the belly button? “You’re under a vest.”
– Officer: “You ran a red light.” Me: “But it matched my outfit!”
– I don’t always get pulled over… but when I do, I bring cookies.
– The arresting officer told the thief, “You can’t run from karma—or cardio.”
– That traffic cop moonlights as a comedian—his punchlines are ticket-worthy.
– The rookie tried to catch a ghost… but it gave him the slip.
– My GPS said “Turn left,” but the cop said “Turn yourself in.”
– Cops love stairs—they’re always taking things to the next level.
– What’s a cop’s favorite instrument? The siren.
– Knock knock. Who’s there? Police. Police who? Police stop with the bad jokes!
– Don’t bribe a cop with donuts—they already have a sweet gig.
– He was caught trying to steal a police car—talk about a drive-by career move.
– “Why were you speeding?” “I was running from my responsibilities.”
– I got arrested for impersonating a mime. Now I’m serving silent time.
– The K-9 dog made an arrest—barked the suspect’s rights perfectly.
– I told the cop I only had one pun left—he said to make it count.
– Cops have the best jokes. They always get a roaring siren-laugh.
– What did the officer say to the ice cream thief? “You’re in a rocky road now.”
– He wasn’t resisting arrest—he was avoiding puns.
– The interrogation room now comes with Wi-Fi—so suspects can Google excuses.
– I didn’t steal the joke—I just borrowed it with intent to pun.
– Officer: “Have you been drinking?” Me: “Only in punchlines.”
– I got pulled over for singing too loud. Apparently that’s ‘disturbing the puns’.
– He called the pun hotline—and now he’s in custody.
– They arrested my printer. It was caught jamming.
– That detective should be a stand-up. He always cracks the case.
– I got pulled over for suspicious laughter. They’re checking my pun record.
– The police theme song should be “I fought the law… and I told a joke.”
– The suspect escaped custody—but not the punchline.
– They interrogated my diary. Apparently, it had a confession.
– The only thing stronger than the cuffs? My sense of humor.
– Traffic stops should come with a joke break.
– Police academy now offers a course in pun control.
– They booked me for possession—of too many dad jokes.
– The officer’s comedy set? Under surveillance.
– Cops love math jokes—they always solve for X.
– “What did you do?” “I stole the spotlight… and a traffic cone.”
– Patrol jokes? Now that’s what I call beat humor.
– The police station started a podcast: “Cuffs and Giggles.”
– I said I had rights. The cop said, “You also have jokes—none of them good.”
– Officer: “You’re under arrest.” Me: “Cool. Can I finish my pun first?”
– He walked into the courtroom and said, “I plead hilarious.”
Short Police Puns and Jokes
Quick, witty, and ready to detain your attention—these bite-sized zingers pack a full-force laugh.
– Cuff me later.
– Law and snorter.
– Badge to the bone.
– Stop… in the name of pun!
– Miranda wrongs.
– Patrol patrol patrol.
– Serve and protect… the punchline.
– Warranted laughs.
– Book ’em for bad puns.
– The siren’s call: comedy.
– License to pun.
– Justice is served—on a pun platter.
– Ride along with dad jokes.
– Cop-out of the century.
– Detained by the giggle squad.
– Write me up for charm.
– Interrogation: 10/10 delivery.
– Misdemean-her.
– Too cute for court.
– Backup your puns.
– Slam-dunk case of humor.
– Miranda giggles.
– Criminally funny.
– Snitch and giggle.
– Fired up the siren—joke alert.
– Cuffed by comedy.
– Do-nut cross me.
– Deputy of punchlines.
– Speeding… through puns.
– On a pun stakeout.
– The joke is booked.
– Charge: excessive punning.
– Briefcase of one-liners.
– Hands where I can pun them.
– Plead the pun-th.
– Beyond a reasonable pun.
– Read my rights—and laugh.
– Caught with a joke weapon.
– Traffic stop, pun start.
– Ride or pun.
– Alibi: comedy club.
– Walking the beat… of the joke.
– Fugitive of fun.
– Tased by humor.
– Line-up of laughs.
– No parole for puns.
– Court-ordered comedy.
– In-car laugh cam.
– Badge and banter.
– He’s armed—with jokes.
Police Puns and Jokes One Liners
These one-liners are locked, loaded, and legally hilarious. Perfect for captions, comebacks, or cracking up your squad.
– I got pulled over for driving people crazy with my jokes.
– My favorite law? The law of laughter.
– Officer: “License and registration.” Me: “Punchline and delivery.”
– I’m not resisting arrest—I’m resisting responsibility.
– The only line I crossed was the punchline.
– The crime? Too much sass. The weapon? A pun.
– Arrested development? More like arrested entertainment.
– I don’t need backup—I’ve got one-liners.
– I plead the pun-th and nothing but the pun-th.
– The cop said, “Freeze!” So I dropped my ice cream.
– I’m not a snitch—I’m a stand-up.
– Justice is served… with a side of sarcasm.
– I left my rights in my other pants.
– Officer, I swear that traffic cone was already in my trunk.
– Cuffed for cuteness, sentenced to sass.
– My getaway car stalled, but my punchline didn’t.
– This joke’s under surveillance.
– Wanted: For excessive pun usage.
– The only chase I enjoy is a punchline sprint.
– Traffic cops don’t ticket me—they quote me.
– Call a lawyer—I’m being arrested for killing it.
– Officer: “Know why I pulled you over?” Me: “To hear this one-liner?”
– I speed through jokes, not intersections.
– Miranda warned me—I laughed anyway.
– Caught red-handed… with a joke.
– This isn’t a courtroom—it’s a pun zone.
– My sense of humor should be classified.
– Interrogation tip: answer with a punchline.
– A good cop joke is never off duty.
– Sirens? Nah, just my jokes making noise.
– I outran the law but got tackled by a pun.
– The precinct called—they want their comedian back.
– I don’t break the law—I bend it into a pun.
– When I get pulled over, I tell jokes until they forget why.
– I only run when I see a bad pun.
– Sirens can’t drown out a solid zinger.
– Patrol humor: it’s a beat thing.
– My puns have warrants.
– Undercover comedian reporting for duty.
– I’ve got a right to remain punny.
– I was booked… for having a laugh-out warrant.
– I filed a pun complaint.
– Guilty… of hilarious intent.
– I traffic in one-liners.
– Police said my joke was criminally good.
– Wanted: Stand-up suspect with deadly puns.
– My jokes need supervision… and a badge.
– On the run… from silence.
– You can’t arrest this sense of humor.
– Puns so good, even cops crack up.
Police Puns and Jokes Reddit
Inspired by the kind of hilarity Reddit users love—these puns are clever, unexpected, and straight from the internet’s pun patrol.
– That moment when your cop friend says, “You can run, but you’ll just die tired.”
– Officer: “Do you know how fast you were going?” Me: “Fast enough to escape my problems, apparently.”
– Someone said I’d make a great cop—because I already interrogate all my friends’ dating lives.
– Cop: “Why’d you speed up?” Me: “I was trying to get out of this awkward conversation.”
– Reddit tip: Never challenge a cop to a pun-off. They carry backup.
– The best thing about cops on Reddit? They always lay down the law… of comedy.
– Why did the Reddit cop write a ticket? Because the pun didn’t land.
– They say cops have no chill. Clearly, they’ve never read police memes at 3AM.
– Police on Reddit: “Our jurisdiction ends at dad jokes.”
– I posted a pun and got arrested—for possessing unlicensed humor.
– My favorite Reddit thread? “Bad puns and better police responses.”
– I told my local cop I got all my legal advice from Reddit—he laughed, then booked me.
– “Do you have any idea how funny that joke was?” “Yes, officer, it was rated 9.1 on r/puns.”
– Reddit cops don’t need sirens—they use upvotes to make an entrance.
– That moment when your comment gets gold… and a warning citation.
– A Reddit user said they got pulled over because their Spotify playlist was a crime.
– Officer: “You got any jokes?” Redditor: “Only illegal levels of wordplay.”
– My police joke got deleted on Reddit. Guess it violated pun policy.
– Cop humor on Reddit is like a donut—warm, sweet, and kind of circular.
– Caught a speeding joke on r/funny—the punchline made a clean getaway.
– The undercover Reddit cop just upvoted my alibi.
– Posted a pun about sirens—now I’m trending on r/CringePolice.
– A Reddit mod told me I was under arrest—for excessive karma farming.
– The best cops are those who can read you your rights and your Reddit post history.
– The only badge I have is a Reddit flair—still gets respect.
– Cop: “You made the front page with that pun.” Me: “So… free to go?”
– That awkward moment when your dashcam goes viral.
– Reddit thread said, “Make police puns.” Challenge accepted.
– Commented “Donut mess with me” and a cop replied: “You’re glazed and confused.”
– Arrested for making dad jokes in a serious subreddit.
– Told the Reddit police joke. Got 200 upvotes and a knock on my door.
– There’s a subreddit for everything—even “Justice Jokes Weekly.”
– I made a meme about patrol cars—now I’m in a pun unit.
– The suspect fled… but his one-liner remained.
– That pun was so bad, even Reddit cops issued a citation.
– Officer meme incoming: “To pun and serve.”
– Cops on Reddit love puns—they’re armed with sarcasm and screenshots.
– Someone asked if I had a warrant… for my humor.
– I made bail—with a perfectly timed pun.
– The subreddit r/copjokes is now evidence.
– Posted “Bad cop, worse pun.” Got two badges and a warning.
– I tried to remain silent, but the pun just spilled out.
– Officer: “Explain this pun.” Me: “Reddit made me do it.”
– Cuffed by karma.
– The only law I broke was the internet.
– Why did the cop go on Reddit? To check r/UndercoverComedy.
– The arresting officer used a meme as evidence.
– I wasn’t resisting—I was refreshing my karma count.
– Reddit gave me flair. The cop gave me cuffs.
Police Puns and Jokes for Adults
These puns go a step beyond your average knock-knock joke. They’re cheeky, sly, and designed for a grown-up giggle.
– Officer: “Why were you speeding?” Me: “Because my Spotify said it was time for a quickie.”
– He said he was undercover, but really he was just avoiding his in-laws.
– I told the cop I had rights. He said, “And I have kids. Your move.”
– I asked the officer for advice on dating apps. He said, “Swipe left on felonies.”
– “License, registration, and your worst ex’s name, please.”
– The only thing friskier than a traffic stop? My Friday night.
– “You have the right to remain silent… but we both know you won’t.”
– Caught doing 60 in a 45? I call that being fashionably early.
– Officer said, “Open the trunk.” I said, “Only if you’re ready for emotional baggage.”
– He wasn’t resisting arrest—just commitment.
– She said, “Hands where I can see them.” I said, “You should’ve said that hours ago.”
– He gave me a warning. I gave him my number.
– The police academy now offers a course in flirting under pressure.
– He pulled me over and said, “This isn’t about the speeding—it’s the vibe.”
– Wanted: One cop who can handle sarcasm and red wine.
– Caught red-handed… with leftover tequila and bad decisions.
– He didn’t need a partner on patrol—he needed a plus one for brunch.
– I asked if I could call a lawyer. He asked if I’d call him sometime.
– She’s a cop by day, sass queen by night.
– That wasn’t a baton—it was a wand of accountability.
– I wasn’t resisting—I just didn’t hear the safe word.
– Arrested for possession… of terrible flirting skills.
– Cop: “Do you know why I pulled you over?” Me: “Midlife crisis vibes?”
– I don’t always get pulled over—but when I do, it’s in yoga pants.
– Officer, my only crime is being this fabulous before 9AM.
– He cuffed me—and not even for the fun reasons.
– Let’s skip the ticket and go straight to brunch.
– He said I could ride in the front seat—only if I behave.
– Police report said I had a “smart mouth and bold eyeliner.”
– She read me my rights, then read my horoscope.
– That’s not my ID, officer. That’s my old Tinder profile.
– The only warrant I need is for your attention.
– “Do you know how fast you were going?” “Not as fast as I fall for authority figures.”
– Is this an arrest… or the start of a rom-com?
– The real citation? Too hot to handle.
– He said I was going 20 over. I said, “Emotionally, same.”
– Officer: “License and registration.” Me: “I’ve got a Costco card and a dream.”
– He didn’t take bribes—but he did accept compliments.
– They said I couldn’t flirt during a traffic stop. I said, “Watch me.”
– That wasn’t a breathalyzer—it was a vibe check.
– The siren wasn’t loud. Her judgmental tone was.
– I failed the field sobriety test—but passed the charisma one.
– Wanted: One cop to make my heart race and my record clean.
– Officer: “Step out of the vehicle.” Me: “Only if it’s into your life.”
– She gave me a ticket—for being too emotionally available.
– “Have you been drinking?” “Yes. Coffee and unrealistic expectations.”
– The only thing I run from is intimacy and traffic court.
– Arrest me—but please don’t look at my search history.
– I wasn’t speeding—I was late for my hot mess era.
– He said I was being dramatic. I said, “Tell that to my mugshot.”
Dirty Police Puns and Jokes
These spicy puns walk the line between naughty and nice—think flirtatious, suggestive, and full of playful innuendo.
– He cuffed me… but not in the way I hoped.
– “Spread ‘em,” he said. I blushed. He meant parking tickets.
– That officer gave me a citation… for causing distractions in tight jeans.
– She read me my rights—and my love language.
– I wasn’t resisting arrest—I was waiting for a safe word.
– You can frisk me, officer… but only if you buy me dinner after.
– My getaway plan? A wink and a whispered ‘oops’.
– When he said, “Step out of the vehicle,” I said, “Only if you’re into foreplay.”
– Officer: “Anything you say can be used against you.” Me: “Like my pillow talk?”
– He didn’t pat me down—he seduced the truth out of me.
– I said “I’m guilty.” He said, “Of what?” I said, “Being a whole mood.”
– The cuffs were cold… but the eye contact was hotter.
– They said it was a strip search. I asked if music was included.
– I didn’t get read my rights—I got read like a romance novel.
– The interrogation got intense… we’re dating now.
– His uniform had buttons. I had the urge to unbutton justice.
– I got caught speeding—straight into his heart.
– Officer: “You’re under arrest.” Me: “For what? Being irresistible?”
– The only law I broke was his concentration.
– She said, “Hands where I can see them.” I said, “They’re already on my hips.”
– I wasn’t hiding anything—except my number in his pocket.
– Those sirens weren’t for danger—they were for my outfit.
– He said “turn around.” I said “I like a man who takes control.”
– I confessed to everything—especially the flirting.
– There’s no body cam footage… just memories.
– He didn’t need backup. He needed a safe word.
– Officer: “Is this your first offense?” Me: “No, I’ve flirted with trouble before.”
– That wasn’t an interrogation—it was foreplay.
– I asked for a lawyer. He said, “I am the law.”
– He frisked me like it was a first date.
– Wanted: One cop who can read rights… and minds.
– Officer: “You’re under arrest.” Me: “Again?”
– “Anything you say…” Me: “Starts with take me out first.”
– His badge wasn’t the only thing that sparkled.
– The only citation I got? For being dangerously hot.
– I said I was armed—with charm.
– He wasn’t just chasing criminals—he was chasing hearts.
– That breathalyzer? Kissed me first.
– She didn’t need sirens—her look was warning enough.
– I didn’t expect to be cuffed and complimented.
– The crime scene? My bedroom. The suspect? Still hot.
– I broke the law of attraction.
– He had the right to remain silent… but those eyes confessed.
– The ticket was real—the chemistry was criminal.
– Cited for causing double takes.
– He asked for my ID. I gave him a flirty smile.
– Interrogation lights never looked so romantic.
– She used handcuffs. I used charm.
– Booked… and blushing.
– He looked at me and said, “Guilty of being too fine.”
– I asked what I was charged with. He said, “Flirting in a no-flirt zone.”
Police Puns One-Liners
Quick, catchy, and cuff-worthy—these one-liners are perfect for bios, captions, or quick laughs that hit like sirens in the night.
– Crime doesn’t pay—but puns sure do.
– Call me a suspect, ‘cause I’ve been stealing hearts.
– Officer by day, pun dealer by night.
– Sirens on, sass activated.
– I don’t plead guilty—I plead hilarious.
– Arrest me, I dare you… just don’t forget the compliments.
– Under arrest for being dangerously clever.
– No need for backup—I’ve got punchlines.
– Cuffed and totally fine with it.
– The law’s got rules—I’ve got comebacks.
– I’m not resisting, I’m just recharging my sarcasm.
– Badges? Nah, I collect punchlines.
– I brake for donuts and good banter.
– “Freeze!” works better when it’s over ice cream.
– The only traffic I cause is in the comment section.
– Wanted: For excessive wordplay.
– The cop said, “Step out.” I said, “Of your dreams?”
– Every squad car should come with a joke book.
– Caution: May cause spontaneous laughter.
– I stay within the law… most of the time.
– Officer material—with a sense of humor.
– Do I look like a law-abiding citizen? Good. That’s the disguise.
– My charm should be classified.
– There’s a fine line between funny and felony—and I toe it daily.
– Patrol car? More like pun-mobile.
– I carry puns—not weapons.
– Nothing suspicious here… just my search history.
– I make arrests and dad jokes with equal intensity.
– Step out of the vehicle and into this punchline.
– Behind every good joke is a bad decision.
– I bring the law… and the laughs.
– I passed the vibe check but failed the parking test.
– My ride-along comes with snacks and sarcasm.
– This isn’t my first pun rodeo.
– Justice is served—medium rare, with extra wordplay.
– I’m undercover… at the pun club.
– Let’s settle this in traffic court—comedian’s edition.
– Every citation should come with a joke.
– Cops and comedians both carry handcuffs.
– Flashing lights, witty rights.
– Cuffed? More like comically detained.
– A citation a day keeps the boredom away.
– I’m not a rebel—I’m just punnily inclined.
– I came for the donuts, stayed for the booking puns.
– Call it a lineup—I call it open mic night.
– That’s not evidence—it’s comedic timing.
– If arrested, I demand a pun lawyer.
– Laugh hard. Serve harder.
– Warranted or not, I’ll still make a scene.
– I don’t chase suspects—I chase punchlines.
Read: Birthday Puns
Read: Thank You Puns
Read: Dance Puns
Read: Balloon Puns
Case closed—these police puns and jokes totally slayed! From silly to spicy, we hope they made your day a little funnier.
Perfect for sharing with friends, adding to captions, or just getting away with some good-natured wordplay. Humor served, citation optional.
Got a favorite? Share your best police pun below!
Zack Hart
Hey there! I’m Zack Hart, the pun-dedicated brain behind PunParade.
Based in Alaska, I built this site for everyone who believes a well-placed pun can brighten a dull day.
Whether you’re into clever wordplay or cringe-worthy dad jokes, you’ll find your fix here. We’re all about bringing the world closer — one pun at a time.