Let’s get started with Friday The 13th Puns! A spooky day full of laughter and fun awaits you. Let’s enjoy some frightfully funny jokes together! The ladder was brought by Jason for what reason? Taking horror to new heights was what he was after!
You’ve got a killer sense of humor, man! Did you know Friday the 13th has an unlucky reputation? On this day, many people avoid making big decisions! Our toes are kept on edge by this superstitious phenomenon! 🎃
So get ready to laugh at some pun-derful Friday the 13th jokes! Come on, let’s have a laugh on this spooky day. Fear is funny, who knew?
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Friday the 13th puns one liners
Quick, quirky, and spooky-chic—these one-liners are perfect for sharing, posting, or whispering dramatically in the dark.
– My only plan today is to survive stylishly.
– I’m not superstitious, just super anxious.
– Black cats avoid me on principle.
– Friday the 13th? More like Netflix and scream.
– I skipped coffee. Now I’m seeing ghosts and coworkers.
– Jason has a machete. I have sarcasm and caffeine.
– I don’t run from my problems. I walk slowly like a horror movie victim.
– I have bad luck year-round, so today just feels extra festive.
– I’m basically the final girl of corporate life.
– My luck’s so bad, even ghosts ghost me.
– Friday the 13th: cue panic breathing
– My vibe today is “haunted but high-functioning.”
– Tripped on nothing—again.
– Today’s energy? Possessed by to-do lists.
– I don’t chase dreams—I just run from shadows.
– The real horror? My group chat notifications.
– I’m the jump scare in my own life story.
– Black cats cross the street to avoid my drama.
– Friday the 13th is when my life finally makes thematic sense.
– Not cursed. Just consistently unlucky.
– “What could go wrong?” Everything.
– That moment when your horoscope says, “Run.”
– I treat bad luck like I treat my ex—ignore it, then text it anyway.
– My emotional state is fog machine + creepy violin.
– Friday the 13th: when even autocorrect gets spooky.
– This coffee tastes like regret and rituals.
– I scream, you scream, we all scream because it’s Friday the 13th.
– I don’t do horror. I live it.
– Friday the 13th: aka “Spooky Self-Care Day.”
– My good luck charm? False confidence.
– I make black cats nervous.
– I’m so unlucky, I got hit by a flying pine cone.
– That shadow behind me? Probably bills.
– I’m not scared. I’m just thinking really loudly.
– Friday the 13th: because one weekday wasn’t dramatic enough.
– My flashlight batteries are dead. Of course.
– Just heard a noise… probably past due tasks.
– If anxiety were a holiday, it’d be today.
– Friday the 13th: the official day of bad vibes and expired snacks.
– I thought I saw a ghost, but it was just my reflection.
– I don’t fear monsters. I fear small talk and team meetings.
– “I’m fine.” Says the person clearly haunted.
– All dressed up with nowhere to safely exist.
– I survived Y2K. Bring it, Jason.
– This is my “Don’t talk to me, I might be cursed” look.
– I didn’t fall—I was dramatically foreshadowed.
– No luck? No problem. I brought sarcasm and snacks.
– Don’t follow the sound. That’s how every movie ends.
– Me: cautiously optimistic. Life: cue violin screech
See Also: Wood Puns
Friday the 13th puns for adults
A little cheeky, a little eerie—these grown-up puns are perfect for spooky flirtation and hauntingly relatable humor.
– I don’t chase anyone… unless you’re wearing a hockey mask and emotionally available.
– Jason wears a mask, I just use emotional detachment.
– I bring the boo to booty call.
– Not sure if I’m possessed or just overstimulated.
– My red flags wave like slasher film curtains.
– I’d survive a horror movie… but only by out-petting the killer.
– Let’s make bad decisions and blame the full moon.
– I didn’t text back. I was too busy being mysteriously alluring.
– I’m not cursed, just overbooked.
– Black cats don’t scare me. But your commitment issues do.
– That “boo” you heard? It was my ex calling again.
– I flirt like a camp counselor on day three—slightly panicked but hopeful.
– You ghosted me? Good luck with the vengeful spirit I summoned.
– Friday the 13th is my villain origin date.
– I light candles for ambiance and also for hexing past flings.
– You say trauma. I say character development.
– I’m only attracted to emotionally unavailable people and haunted antiques.
– A date on Friday the 13th? Spicy.
– I bring dangerous charm and cursed cookware to the relationship.
– If I fall for you, it’s because you tripped me with a plot twist.
– You’re hot. Like cursed-hot.
– I believe in soulmates and also in revenge from the grave.
– That’s not blood—it’s just my red wine vibes.
– The real horror is matching with someone who says “hey” and nothing else.
– Call me a scream queen and buy me dinner.
– I’m into candlelit rituals and mild chaos.
– Relationship status: waiting to be the final girl.
– Can I get your number… and your ancestral curse?
– I’m not toxic. I’m aromatically ominous.
– Forget Netflix—let’s summon something.
– You had me at midnight séance.
– Jason’s cute, but I prefer someone who communicates.
– Wanna come over and make bad summoning choices?
– We could never work. I’m air and you’re heavily cursed water.
– Let’s call it “hauntingly casual.”
– He was a 10, but he screamed during the credits.
– I don’t do sleepovers—unless we’re talking haunted cabins.
– Be my boo—but make it ironic.
– I’m not “the one.” I’m chapter two with a twist.
– You’re my type: chaotic, ghost-adjacent, and probably hexed.
– I keep it casual—like unsolved mystery energy.
– Let’s get cursed together.
– I’m looking for love… and a reason to wear my witch hat.
– Meet cute? Try meet cursed.
– Let’s have a midnight snack and maybe accidentally summon something.
– I’m in my villain era—with snacks.
– That wasn’t a ghost—it was just my desire for affection.
– My love language is shared trauma and matching death omens.
See Also: Beach Puns
Friday the 13th puns funny
These puns are more giggle than gore—perfect if you like your scares with a side of snort-laughing.
– I bought sage for cleansing… now my apartment smells like Italian food and bad decisions.
– If Jason’s chasing me, he better bring snacks.
– The only mask I wear on Friday the 13th is called “no sleep and sarcasm.”
– I survived Friday the 13th. All I got was this emotional instability.
– I don’t need a slasher—I have a mirror and self-reflection.
– If something jumps out, I’m using my laundry pile as a shield.
– It’s not bad luck if you never expected things to go well.
– I treat Friday the 13th like a Monday—with extra horror.
– Can I RSVP “maybe” to a haunting?
– Black cats think I’m the one who brings drama.
– The only thing cursed is my sleep schedule.
– I didn’t survive a horror movie—I just outlasted the Wi-Fi outage.
– I’m not scared… I’m just respectfully alert.
– I tried to manifest peace, but accidentally summoned my ex’s playlist.
– The real villain is whoever microwaves fish at work.
– If I scream, it’s not fear—it’s just taxes.
– I thought I was being followed. It was my own to-do list.
– The scariest thing about Friday the 13th? My inbox.
– I have goosebumps, but it’s because I checked my bank balance.
– If you hear creaking, it’s either the house or my knees.
– This isn’t horror—it’s just my love life.
– I lit a candle, stubbed my toe, and now I’m convinced I summoned something.
– I tried to cast a spell, but it just ordered Uber Eats.
– Who needs a machete when you have resting panic face?
– I faced my fears today. I made a phone call.
– Ghosts won’t haunt me because I’d just talk their ear off.
– I ghost people faster than the plot twist arrives.
– My villain origin story starts with “low battery.”
– The house is haunted, but the Wi-Fi’s good. I’m staying.
– Friday the 13th checklist: snacks, crystals, and a desperate sense of humor.
– Can I get haunted by a responsible adult figure?
– I asked for a sign. The lights flickered. I left.
– This mask is for skincare, not scaring.
– I don’t jog, but I will in the event of demonic possession.
– I made peace with the monster under the bed.
– Bad luck? I call it regularly scheduled programming.
– Every horror movie would end in 10 minutes if they had group chats.
– My idea of spooky is a text that says “we need to talk.”
– I don’t get possessed. I get overwhelmed and need a snack.
– Friday the 13th: the only day I admit to saging my AirPods.
– Found a cursed mirror. It just shows my 2020 mindset.
– I tried to fight off bad luck with glitter.
– Friday the 13th: when nothing is okay but everything is content.
– Ghosts have better social skills than me.
– I tried to sage the room. I just made it smoky and stressful.
– It’s not a haunting. It’s a creative atmosphere.
See Also: Plane Puns
Friday the 13th Jokes for adults
Slightly spicy, a little suggestive, and totally PG-13—these are for the grown-up ghouls only.
– He said he’s into “scary stuff,” but couldn’t handle my trauma dump.
– I put the “boo” in booty text.
– Not cursed, just in my dating era.
– Call me Jason, because I’m wearing a mask and emotionally unavailable.
– I don’t have bad luck. I just make riskier life choices after dark.
– My dating history is one Ouija board away from becoming a documentary.
– Friday the 13th is when I let my red flags match my lipstick.
– I’m single, haunted, and emotionally flammable.
– My safe word is “BLACK CAT.”
– Candles? For ambience and accidental flirtation.
– Love is scary, but so is splitting rent.
– My pickup line? “Wanna summon something weird together?”
– My DMs are cursed. Literally.
– Friday the 13th means I ghosted you for your safety.
– I’m not ghosting you. I’m just on another plane of existence.
– Jason has a machete. I have screenshots.
– He wore a mask. I thought it was a kink.
– If I date you, we’re either getting married or hexed.
– You can haunt me… Just text first.
– I don’t do “situationships.” I do full-moon curses.
– I don’t fall in love. I trip into emotionally confusing plotlines.
– My past relationships? Let’s just say… still haunting me.
– He said he liked spooky girls. Now he’s locked in a ritual circle.
– I flirt like it’s a jump scare.
– The only ring I want is made of salt and protection spells.
– You’re cute, but are you “cursed object I can’t resist” cute?
– The sexiest thing you can do is survive the first 10 minutes.
– My last ex was a horror story—with a terrible ending.
– I don’t chase men. I lure them in with tarot cards and iced coffee.
– We matched on a Friday the 13th. Should’ve known.
– My current relationship status: possessed by stress.
– I don’t date anymore. I just collect red flags like souvenirs.
– The real horror is his emoji use.
– I light candles to relax and maybe summon a boyfriend.
– I’m not toxic—I’m just… energetically dramatic.
– That’s not love. That’s codependency with a jump scare.
– If you like bad girls, I’m a walking cursed VHS.
– My ex said I was scary. Good.
– I don’t ghost people—I haunt them forever.
– Call me your boo—but respectfully.
– My favorite pickup line: “Let’s open a portal together.”
– Can’t spell “haunt me” without “u.”
– It’s not bad luck. It’s just men.
See Also: Pickle Puns
Friday the 13th jokes for work
Need something spooky but safe for the break room? These workplace-friendly puns will get a laugh without triggering HR.
– I don’t need a slasher. I’ve got deadlines chasing me.
– My team is haunted by group projects and printer errors.
– I screamed today… but it was just the Wi-Fi going out.
– Friday the 13th at work? Sounds like a team-building exercise in horror.
– Let’s circle back… to why the lights keep flickering.
– I told my boss I was cursed. He told me to log it in Slack.
– My laptop is possessed. It only opens PowerPoint.
– Every Zoom call is a horror story.
– Who summoned this meeting? Reveal yourself, demon.
– I’m not ignoring your email—I’m afraid to open it.
– This spreadsheet is scarier than any haunted house.
– I walk into the break room like a final girl in act three.
– “Don’t worry, it’s just a status update.” Famous last words.
– My coworkers think I’m calm. I’m just possessed by routine.
– That awkward silence after a bad joke? Poltergeist.
– Jason might be outside. But at least he’s not CC’d.
– I’m the ghost of unfinished reports.
– If someone says “just one more task,” I might levitate.
– Every time the copier jams, a soul is lost.
– Friday the 13th means I’m allowed to hide in the supply closet.
– I don’t need coffee. I need an exorcism for this to-do list.
– My work badge won’t scan. Guess I’m officially a spirit.
– That wasn’t a typo. That was a cry for help.
– My career path is shaped like a haunted spiral staircase.
– I’m not behind on tasks—I’m being haunted by them.
– Every staff meeting has one person you wouldn’t trust in a horror movie.
– “You’re muted.” Terrifying.
– My inbox has entered the underworld.
– This coffee tastes cursed.
– My ergonomic chair is the only supportive thing in my life.
– I’m not procrastinating—I’m escaping fate.
– I dressed like a ghost. HR called it “unprofessional.”
– I hit “Reply All.” Regret summoned instantly.
– My calendar looks like a blood-stained to-do list.
– You said “quick meeting.” I said “famous last words.”
– Friday the 13th: perfect time for a team exorcism.
– My coworkers don’t know I’m a part-time vampire.
– Every keyboard has one haunted key.
– I tried to sage the office, but I set off the alarm.
– My computer made a noise. I screamed.
– Who summoned another meeting?!
– My boss has main villain energy today.
– This email thread is cursed.
– The coffee’s gone. We’re all doomed.
– Friday the 13th rule: don’t talk to Debra from finance.
– When the lights flicker, I assume it’s just budget season.
– If I disappear today, I’ve gone to join the ghost of unpaid overtime.
See Also: May Puns
Dirty Friday the 13th jokes
These puns flirt with the line between spooky and steamy—saucy enough to blush, but clever enough to grin.
– Jason isn’t the only one who knows how to handle wood.
– I don’t scream during horror… But I can be persuaded.
– Let’s make it a full moon kind of night.
– I’ll show you my machete if you show me your crystals.
– Friday the 13th is for making bad decisions… Preferably in the dark.
– My safe word is “Camp Crystal Lake.”
– Can I haunt your place tonight?
– I’m into scary movies and scarier positions.
– I don’t run from masked men… Unless they’re into commitment.
– Let’s turn that cursed cabin into a love shack.
– He said “call me daddy.” I said “call me final girl.”
– I brought candles, whipped cream, and holy water.
– This black cat’s got claws.
– I’m not superstitious—just supremely seductive.
– Want to see something even more terrifying? Pulls out my ex’s texts.
– I’m down for roleplay. You be Jason. I’ll be tied up.
– Let’s carve pumpkins and then carve out some time for us.
– This Friday the 13th, I’m only running if it’s into your arms.
– My bed’s haunted. Want to help me investigate?
– I brought snacks… And a costume you can’t resist.
– Who needs a chainsaw when you’ve got this kind of stamina?
– Kiss me like you’ve been cursed.
– I’m not afraid of monsters… Unless you’re one.
– You had me at “survivor girl energy.”
– This mask is for skincare… But it can come off.
– I put the “boo” in “booty call.”
– My scream? Let’s find out how loud it gets.
– Let’s turn down the lights and up the paranormal activity.
– Jason who? I’m the one with the real killing moves.
– You bring the rope—I’ll bring the plot twist.
– Haunted? Or just incredibly talented?
– You’re like a cursed book I want to read all night.
– Let’s get freaky—in every way.
– Put on the mask. Keep the lights off. Say less.
– Friday the 13th: My favorite night to be naughty and nocturnal.
This Friday the 13th, laugh out loud with puns and jokes! Share these light-hearted jokes with your friends and family. This spooky day would not be complete without them!
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We’re glad you were able to laugh along with us today! Good luck charms like your laughter are hard to find. Look forward to more spine-tingling humor in the near future!
Zack Hart
Hey there! I’m Zack Hart, the pun-dedicated brain behind PunParade.
Based in Alaska, I built this site for everyone who believes a well-placed pun can brighten a dull day.
Whether you’re into clever wordplay or cringe-worthy dad jokes, you’ll find your fix here. We’re all about bringing the world closer — one pun at a time.